Martini Mike's Hangover Report (NEW AND IMPROVED!)

Hello, Ciao, Hola, γειά σου, hailō, ਹੈਲੋ, здравствулте!, 你好 my friends! And Cheers! And as they say in Nawlens, "Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez!" And let the good times roll we will my friends. That was one super night in old Burque, no? And the weekend’s not over yet! Abraham Juarez, of Seasons, suggests I see the same 50 people when I am out on the town because the population of Albuquerque is only slightly higher than that. Well, an actual metropolitan population of approximately 850,000 people is not too shabby. So, I think that the other 50 of you are just hipsters. Nice to see all of you again. Next time you go out on the town- drag a friend along! And thanks for your continued support.

Last night was no drag. Have you been to Andaluz yet? This beautiful historic hotel originally opened in 1939 as the first NM hotel constructed by native Conrad Hilton. I have made several trips to it’s new incarnation and… you had me at “hello”. Andaluz is warm and inviting. Andaluz oozes sophistication. I am going to ramble about the lounge. But, as I drool over the dinner menu for their restaurant “Lucia” you can be sure I’ll be rambling about that soon enough!


The atmosphere of this non traditional lounge is just fantastic. Yes, there is an actual bar hiding in the corner but it is very tiny. Where the real action is- is the lobby! There are what appear to VIP tables lining one side of the lobby. Well, coves, niches, dens that contain couches, chairs, tables, art, etc. to be more precise. Each has a different flavor to it as well. These are for your cocktail imbibing pleasure, with a reservation please. Is bottle service required? I am not sure. Call 505-923-9080 for information. The middle of the courtyard is ample with additional seating and a fountain. And the staff is world class! So perfectly groomed, attractive, polite, friendly that I picture the manager as Fantasy Island’s Mr. Roarke… “Smiles everyone, smiles! We have guests arriving.” I do not have one complaint about Andaluz. My martini is always perfect and I always have a seat. And be sure to try such “tantalizing” Tapas as the Mussels or Steak Sliders. There is also great live music from 9-12 on at least Friday and Saturday. For a casual, relaxing evening you should definitely check it out. Our night began with a Martini and Steak Sliders served by Anita. Hello to Tamra also.

And out onto the glorious streets of downtown Albuquerque we are poured. The weather had taken quite a turn for the better this night. The temperature did not even warrant a winter coat at this point. We wandered over to Central Avenue to see if the rumors of Maloney’s being closed were true. Alas, they were not. But evidently Sauce and Proof really did close in January. I want to get to old town now and check out something new. Aaahhh, the cycle of (bars) life.


“CASA ESENCIA,ABQ's brand new premium ultra-lounge Featuring: 2 DJ's spinning simultaneously all night THE MA$H-UP KING DJ DEVIN HOUSE MUSIC & TOP 40 ALL NIGHT LONG,LAST WEEKS' GRAND OPENING HIT CAPACITY BEFORE 10,SO GET THERE EARLY ABQ this is your high-end ultra lounge you have been waiting for…” as DJ Devin’s Facebook flutter said. You may also be familiar with my friend LD and his massive attack of event invitations. Thanks for the invites fellas. It was everything you claimed it would be. And the music was just right.

Casa Esencia is a separate building, “Hacienda” to be exact, next to and owned by Hotel Albuquerque. According to their website “Casa Esencia is reinventing Albuquerque events with unparalleled service in a glamorous hacienda setting.” Built in 1840 by the Armijo family this is a sprawling “8,000 square feet of elegant rooms with space to host 298 adults”. Velvet ropes and clipboards people. The good, the bad, and the beautiful. Let’s just take a quick tour here? Welcome… reflecting pool, coat check, 3 bars, 2 DJs, grand piano, kiva fireplaces, luxurious furnishings, room after room, rear patio complete with roaring fire. Ciao. My uncle Paul sure knows how to start a fire! He is a fixture of Hotel Albuquerque for many years. (Here goes my version of the “shout out”!) This was liking going to a great party at a friend’s home. Or my home. OK, I currently only have 2 bars but have been thinking about a Tiki bar for the back patio this spring! So everywhere we turned there was someone we knew. Stacy Sacco, Sheldon from Sauce, Johnny Ming, Sarah the bartender, Webb from Lotus, and on and on. And that reminds me… if I think you look familiar or visa-versa it may very well be we are cyber friends and have never met in person. So say hi because I’m not sure that’s you from that teeny tiny photoshopped picture you posted drunk!

I loved the whole atmosphere; fireplaces, lighting fixtures, that reflecting pool and the different feel of each room. The staff were all friendly and helpful. Please take a long hard look at your liquor selection. Macallan is the only scotch? Seriously? A high end lounge like this needs a good scotch selection. But if you’re going to only have one scotch on hand make it Talisker. Oh and the Vodka selection is missing the finest Vodka in all the land- Tito’s. Was their any signature drinks or a drink menu? I never saw or heard of these things. But… you know what? I’ll be back. I loved it. Ssssshhhh. Don’t tell anyone because I don’t want it to get so popular that I can’t squeeze my way through! P.S. It’s only open on Friday night. The rest of the time it is available for special events.

11:00 or so we are ready to move on. Where to? Home? Naaaah. Seasons! We scurry to the upstairs to find Abraham Juarez, formerly of Zinc, tending bar. This folks is a real bartender who absorbs and dispenses knowledge of beer, wine, and cocktails like a true master. I will be first in line if he ever opens his own establishment. My friend has a scotch from their extensive collection. I opt for Amaretto DiSarrano on the rocks. We sample Sierra Nevada “Hopstar” India Pale Ale from the Roessler brothers trip to Beer Camp and it is delicious! Last call. The witching hour approaches. Where’s the # for that cab driver?

Next stop. Nob Hill. I haven’t been to imbibe lately. Let’s do this thing. Greetings one and all. I am constantly approached about the St. Patrick’s Day Extravaganza I may be promoting here that I have not begun to advertise yet. The crowd is not too too thick just yet. The cigar smoke wafts by as we quickly order a pint of Stella. It is a beautiful night to visit the rooftop patio. More former Sauce/Proof employees such as Adrienne are having a good time. My good friend DJ Rhino and his lovely better half Vanessa are present. He is the usual Friday night DJ but had gone to see Henry Rollins spoken word earlier this night. It was nice to hang out away from the thump thump thump of the DJ booth for once. Nightcap. Manhattan with a cinnamon dusted cherry… mmm. Closing time already? I still have cash? Well, people did buy me drinks. Cool people anyway. Haha

And hear I hide, away from the piercing light of the sun. I wish someone would bring me some gourmet food. I reflect and ponder Saturday evening as the chores pile up. Thanks for a good time Nitro Nate, hope you enjoyed that guest room. Thanks to everybody who was not weird, did not glare, did not start juvenile drama, and just had a good time with us last night. And thanks to my friend Stacy Sacco for talking me into returning to including DukeCityFix.com in my blogosphere.
Visit his website and also buy some Anasazi Fields wine. Until next time- keep your friends close and your martini closer.

Mid Winter Blues in A Minor

A most pleasant of days winks at me. I rise from my slumber, a recently unmatched marathon of sleep lasting 12 largely uninterrupted hours. I stretch and crackle and feel the cool sheets engulf me in their possibly unnecessary ridiculously high thread count. The drapes hide a majority of sunlight, pecking to get in. I think back to a minor sleep altercation several hours ago involving an evidently well rested and agile cat. Full throttle across the room cat plunge onto my nuts is no way to start my day. The screams and promises of a quick death for kitty still echoing throughout the quiet home I returned to a dream state.

What was that final dream? I wish I could remember now. I want to say it was almost a nightmare but I was in control. Something with a car or a gun or instrument? I am most certain it was not magic, wizards, love, or cats! Well it was nice to dream and breathe and be at the perfect temperature for ½ a day.

I am out of coffee! I sit up on 3 pillows sipping away at green tea with local honey. I wish I had a bagel and lox. Maybe I should cook up some brown eggs. Bathe them in my green chile sauce, which would make that like my upteenth consecutive meal to include hot chile. Ah. Well, I think maybe this best be addressed much after I come to.

Farmville awaits. A farmer does not have the luxury of sleep. No FFA award for me today. There are roses and watermelons to harvest. There are barns to build and neighbors to visit. Maybe I will whack some gangsters after that on Mob Wars or Mafia Wars. I must start my day in a virtual land.

Cravings for Pete Townshend have snookied, snickered, into my eardrums. A hunger I can not explain has taken me over. It is a hunger for the sweet sweet music of a man whose music I have never purchased. I quickly downnload the standards right onto my laptop. “No one respects the flame quite like the fool who's badly burned. From all this you'd imagine that there must be something learned” .

I will be preparing a Native American winter stew today. Garbanzo beans, chunks of beef, hot red chile. This is my contribution to a party we will attend this evening. A "Ceiligh" to be exact. It is delicious and warming to the soul. Our souls are so cold we may need more. My famous Martini Kit might be in order.

The Martini Kit. An aluminum case purchased at Wal Mart oh so many years ago. I delicately sliced and glued the foam rubber innards to fit all the essentials of a martini party. Outside this case now dangle silent remnants of her travels. Ripped airport tags, decals, dents, stains, and a pair of handcuffs. This is Top Secret stuff here people. Lurking inside her protective shell are comical napkins, toothpicks, Martini & Rossi Extra Dry Vermouth, and an eyedropper. There is a jigger, a jar of olives waiting to have their navels plucked dry and replaced with a fine blue cheese. A standard bottle of chilled Vodka will fit into the chiseled place that will not hold a 1.75 Litre bottle of Tito’s Vodka.

The crock pot is my friend. I will prepare my goods and slink up outta here. I spy the glorious blue skied day from my television set via surveillance cameras about the perimeter of my property. The weather channel assures me that there is a steady warmth growing outside these walls. Winter is taking a break today and Spring wants her down for the count. I could put the top down. That may require a hat. I could wash the car. Snow flurries tonight and snow for the next two days. Allegedly. This is why I want to throw a slurpy at the weatherman every time I see him standing on the corner. Take that you boob.

I am ready to adventure. I am ready to write. I am ready to capture life through my lenses. My camera is charged. My tea is gone. My faded blue jeans hang from the exercise equipment, calling to me like an old friend. Wait, that’s weird- my friends aren’t hanging from my exercise equipment. Matter of fact most would stay far away from exercise equipment! Ha! And if they were in my bedroom when I awoke it would be even more weird. “Hey! What the fuck are you doing?”, “How’d you get in here?”. “Did I give you the alarm code?”, “What’s up bro?”. “Oh shit, are you serious?”, “Rudy. You do not want to eat MY brain… trust me”. I think forward to the day. “You better bet your life!” shouts Pete Townshend. “It’s a very good day to die” I like to say. And I exit stage left.

What's hot/ what’s not!

I already know what you're thinking... and yes. At the risk of shameless self promotion I just have to, of course, plug Martini World! Mondays at imbibe. But, I'll come back to that later.

I have just been so busy lately that I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll just stick with the recent past. It's a bit of a blur but I know I've had a good time. A real good time. Most of the time anyway. Some of you have been there with me too.Road trips up north, Art Galleries, Parades, Parties, Club events, Networking events, Sushi. I need a rest already! OK, so maybe I should just get to what's hot and what's not. I'm sure every magazine in town does this.. but I don't care!

Let's start with "not".

Not. The Cooperage. Unless of course you are looking for a $9 martini in the smallest glass available by law... during HAPPY HOUR! Oh, with a bunch of blue hairs anxious to get their "Nawlens" on.

Not. Two Fools Tavern. Still can't get a "shot"! You can get a "glass" of whiskey but don't shoot it or you're out on your ass.

Not. NM Rail Runner on a Friday night. If you hop on right after work (downtown Abq 5:21 pm) you will have just enough time for a drink or two in Santa Fe before catching the last train back at 9:30! Without reservations you will have a 2-3 hour wait in the popular restaurants... unless you're me.

Not. Albuquerque Cab. If you want to wait an hour on your way out or your way home go for it. I had the rudest driver for a "safe ride" & when I called to complain all they did was defend him. I had only had 2 drinks & food, so it wasn't me. I have swapped out my speed dial to Yellow Cab 505-247-8888.

Aaaaannnnd HOT! What's hot lately? More than the "not" luckily. So many hots, so little time.

HOT. Mac-Tire of Skye Pipes and Drums. Voted “Best Upcoming Scottish Musical Group” in Albuquerque the Magazine’s 2008 Best of the City issue. Featured in an online exclusive at Alibi.com, "Not just pipe dreams" a few weeks ago. Starring in my backyard for the "Post St. Patty's Day Parade Party" recently. I love you guys.

HOT. NM Rail Runner on a Saturday. Crowded? Perhaps. Do you want to stand for 1.5 hours from Santa Fe? Perhaps not. But it does run later than Friday! You have all day to get there and the last train home leaves at 10 PM.

HOT. Cake Fetish. Cupcakes that are delicious works of art! And they have delivery too! “Cake Fetish is Albuquerque's first gourmet cupcake bakery.Each cupcake is made from scratch in small batches by our highly creativebakers using the freshest ingredients.” Uptown, downtown, and the west side.

HOT. Giovanni's Pizza. They recently delivered pies all the way to Central and Girard! And it is still the best authentic NY Style Pizza around.

HOT. Yellow Cab. Fast, friendly, no grief. NOT owned by the same company as Albuquerque Cab contrary to popular belief! 505-247-8888

HOT. Local IQ Magazine. For the "25 and over" crowd who appreciate the finer things in life. Read the column called "Fabü" by my long time friend Lisa Van Dyke!

HOT. Shogun. Still. I love to start the "boat note" and communicate with strangers on the other side of the sushi bar. The sushi is top notch. The people are friendly and the beer's cold. What else do you want? I swear these are the best Spider Rolls on earth! And try a Crispy Dragon Roll.

And last but not least HOT. Monday nights at imbibe. I saw that. Don't wince. I heard that! Just read on, and no, I am not an owner or investor. There are people of all ages here at all times it appears. And what the hell else is there to do on a Monday in Albuquerque?!
MartiniWorld.com Presents Martini World! Mondays...


So who wants to party like a rock star?
Weekends are for amateurs anyway!
Chicken?
Tired?
Too hip for you?


Wait. What about a relaxing happy hour? 4-7 I dare you to find a normal size premium martini for $5 in this town! There are pints of premium imports for $2 too! And I personally put together this ever changing playlist for 4-8 PM. Everything from Dean Martin to songs you recognize from every popular mob movie, even the newer ones.


Still not hooked? How about the cool movie I show at 6? Last week was the original Scarface (1932). This week will be On the Waterfront (1954), with Marlon Brando.



Come watch a movie after work.
NCAA Final Four?
Have a drink.
Have a cigar.

This is Albuquerque's only legal smoking bar.
Don't like smoke?
There is a state of the art filtration system.
They open the garage doors for the warm weather too.
Next Monday 4/06/09 alleged to be 69 degrees, sunny, no wind.

There is also a rooftop patio with great views of Route 66.
And I have the handsome, talented, and single DJ Ryan (the Friday night DJ) at 8 on Mondays.

Hmmm... what else? It's cool. All your friends are doing it.
There'll be models, some promotion every week.
Did I mention surprises too? Like FREE stuff?

Recently featured in abqonthecheap.com!
Check out my promo video too! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-7T-syurS8
Hope to see you there. Ciao